Fall 2020

Summer came to a close and Grammannette flew home to Utah after 5 months of indefatigable service.  It’s hard to imagine how we would have made it through the summer without her efforts, not to mention those of Gramheart, Grampa Steve, Auntie Sarah, and others.

Rachael celebrated her successful cancer treatment and remission status.  She began treatment on a new and promising drug that has shown a very strong ability to keep her in remission.  She has monthly check ins with the doctor and her results always come back immaculate!    The drug unfortunately is a low-dose chemotherapy, which means fatigue and nausea are now regular visitors in her life.  But she never complains and handles these things as though an inconvenience, rather than an obstacle.  We just make sure to build in some rest time each day, but other than that she has returned to an active life with zeal.

We went up to Alsea Falls to camp for my birthday in early September, but as the day wore on we observed the sky was getting orange and dusky.  Surely the Forest Service would come evacuate us if there is a fire danger..?  Right..?  The next morning we awoke to a blotted out sun and smoky air.  As it turned out we were quite close to a wildfire that had developed in the Coast Range–which is very uncommon.  This, combined with the massive fires raging in the cascades, began a two-week period in which Corvallis had the poorest air quality on the planet–far, far worse than Beijing or Delhi or Los Angeles in the 70s.. 

There was ash everywhere; even walking barefoot in the house would result in blackened soles.  After a summer of quarantine and social isolation, being forced to remain indoors for two weeks felt like a gut punch.  For many, myself included, this was kind of the last straw and final indignity for this atrocious year.  Several of our favorite camping grounds were wiped out, not to mention hundreds who lost their homes.  It felt truly apocalyptic.

Eventually the cooler weather and rains put an end to the foulness, and school was able to resume.  Josef would be starting 3rd Grade, like all Oregon kids, in a distance learning model.  This means I had to get him a small laptop which he would use to have his lessons.  He found this pretty exciting, but of course I, ever the Luddite, was absolutely horrified that he was now going to be plugged into the matrix.  I found it quite exasperating, the extent to which every platform–Google, Apple, Microsoft–attempted to collect data on my child, and market things to them.  I had to go into the Microsoft registry and basically throw a digital wrench in the gears just to prevent the Store from being accessible.  I have always been deeply dismayed at the level of exposure most kids have to screen time, and did my best to create an environment where Josef could play and create in the real world, rather than consume in the digital one.  But here I was plopping him in front of a laptop and trying to install parental controls…  Brutal.

On the positive side, his school figured out a way to offer a simulacrum of in-person instruction which we were able to take advantage of.  Josef would go to school in a cohort with 10 other kids ages 6-10 and they would each sit at a desk with headphones, receiving their synchronous instruction from their teachers.  Then there would be time for recess and outdoor play.  Since the greatest casualty of  distance learning was social interaction and physical activity, I felt like this was a real win.

Shockingly, Josef did quite well with this format.  I was very pleased to hear during the parent-teacher conference that Josef was excelling in math, and doing a great job of finishing his assignments without much prodding.  He did struggle with getting distracted, so much so that he had to be put in his own little curtained off area!  But his education plodded on nevertheless; his cursive was so good when I saw a sample of it I assumed it was Mr. Nelson’s work!

We celebrated his 8th birthday in a very sweet and intimate way.  We went up to Portland as a family, saw the Body Worlds exhibit at OMSI, rode the street car around town, and stayed in a fun hotel.  We let him eat sugary cereal in bed and watch cartoons as a special birthday treat and he felt like he was in 8-year-old heaven!  It was really a special time–our first fun thing as a healthy family in ages.  I will certainly treasure the memory.

In October I took him up to Clear Lake and the two of us had a fun little getaway in a rustic cabin.  It rained like the Dickens the whole time, but we just listened to stories and drew, and snuggled.  For Halloween, since trick or treating was quashed, we threw a family only Halloween party and invited his best friend.  It was so much fun that it might become a tradition!

I must say that since turning 8, Josef has really matured a lot.  It’s like he hit some magic age–he seems to handle adversity with a stiffer back and can talk more clearly about his feelings.  It’s a welcome development, and I daresay 8 is my favorite age since 3!  And yet even with the maturity, he still retains a precious level of innocence.  He is absolutely obsessed with pugs, and loves to pretend he is dog.  He greets each morning by making squeaks and barks from his bed, and routinely requests snuggle time on the couch.  He still squeals with delight and skips about when excited.  It is so very very dear, and I’m keenly aware that the maturity to innocence ratio will probably never be this strong again.  I will not doubt feel relief and pride as he continues to mature, but certainly loss and sadness as the little boy is subsumed into the adolescent.

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